I had the best day!

I've had some good days in my personal life-- the day my niece and nephew were born--and in my professional life--a naming ceremony in Israel for two college students who didn't have Hebrew names, a standing-room-only Seder in a small town in Ukraine--to name just a few. This day ranks with those. (Though, if my niece and nephew ever read this, it didn't come close.)

I need to back up a little bit. A few weeks before writing this I got a phone call from a former colleague at Hillel. A young man who works with her, a fairly recent Russian-Jewish emigre, was looking for a rabbi to officiate at a wedding. The bride, his sister, moved to Israel about a year-and-a-half ago, when the rest of her family came here. The groom, also Russian, arrived in Israel with his parents closer to eight years ago. He is currently splitting his time between university classes and army service.

Why did two young Israelis come to America looking for a rabbi? This is where the story gets a little complicated. Though the bride's family struggled to maintain its Jewish identity in Russia-- the couple drank out of her great-grandfather's Kiddush cup during the ceremony--she is living her life as a secular Israeli. The groom's family qualified for Israeli citizenship under the Law of Return, but, though at least one of his grandparents practiced Judaism and he and his parents have chosen to make the Jewish state their permanent home, it would be difficult to prove his Jewish lineage in a way that met the strict requirements necessary to comply with Orthodox Jewish law.

There is no civil marriage in Israel. The only way for two Jews to get married there is under the auspices of Orthodox Jewish clergy. As this bride and groom could not adequately prove their Jewish heritage, they could not be married by an Orthodox rabbi. In truth, even if they had the adequate proof, they didn't want to be married according to Orthodox tradition because of their personal religious beliefs and chosen lifestyle. But a wedding performed by a non-Orthodox rabbi is not recognized as legal under religious or civil law if it is performed in Israel.

So what is a couple to do?

In many cases, secular and liberal Jewish couples head for Cypress. If a marriage is legally recognized by another country, Israeli civil authorities must also accept it as legally valid. But this couple had ties to the U.S. So they planned a civil wedding in Washington. They got all of their paperwork in order, invited friends and family from Russia, Israel and all over the United States, hired a photographer and booked a restaurant for a reception.

But something didn't feel right.

They had chosen to live the rest of their lives in Israel. How could they begin their life together without at least a nod to Judaism. So a friend picked up the phone.

I feel as though it's important to digress here for a moment to let you know that the friend who called me is Orthodox. While it's true that the official system doesn't accommodate every need, I find that individuals are often willing--even eager-- to help find solutions that will help the parties involved maintain their ties to Judaism in the way in which they would be most comfortable.

The afternoon of the wedding was completely joyous. There were about 25 people at the ceremony, many of whom had never witnessed a wedding under a chuppah. Four men who had never done so held the poles, two women who had never done so signed the ketubah. The ceremony itself was partly in English and partly in Hebrew. I only know two words in Russian-- meaning "my name is"--so I stopped every so often to allow for translation.

My involvement was tiny, really, less than an hour in a jampacked day. The bride and groom had spent the morning taking pictures around town, followed by an adoring group of relatives and friends. The reception was to be that evening at a local restaurant. They had been legally married the day before at the District courthouse. Nonetheless, I was proud that I, and Temple Micah, had played a part.

This, to me, is one of the most important things I, and the Reform Jewish community, can do: to find ways for those who are seeking, who are not exactly sure where--or if--they fit, to find a comfortable place in the Jewish community. I had the best day.